Church Membership

So, recently I took the leap.  I (along with my children) made a decision to become a member of a church, to try to belong someplace.  Before last year all the churches I went to didn't do membership, so I was quite hesitant.  But the desire to be part of a loving church family was overwhelming.

This decision gave me such joy!  To be a part of a church family is the most amazing feeling.  It gave me a feeling of love and safety and belonging.  How could I have been in the Church, been a believer, for 30 years and never had experienced what a loving church family was like?  Shouldn't that be the way every Christian church is?  And yet it isn't.  I am sure God would always have His Church be a family that draws people in with their love and acceptance, and yet this seems to be the exception anymore.  Sure so many churches try to draw them in with loud music, with coffee bars, with concerts, with drama - but what about drawing them in with love and acceptance?  Not so much.

I've been so happy being a part of this family!  I've been so thankful to have been so welcomed.

But then it happened. . . .more different-ness.  More feelings of not belonging.  Of being just outside the circle. Why must it be so difficult to belong?

There are days, like today, when I just want to quit.  Just go back to the way it was before last May and be content in my ignorance.

But more than that, I want to honor God. So I can't go back to ignorance.  I have to hold on and try to figure out a way to belong without compromising truth.

How Important Is Doctrine

How important is doctrine? And which doctrines are important? Do I let go of some to fit in. Not let go of believing what I know to be the truth from the Word, but let go of wishing others would accept the truths I know? For the sake of fitting in, for the sake of having a home church?

No one is perfect, and no one interprets all the Bible perfectly, so I guess it becomes necessary to accept some degree of doctrinal deviation among people. Kinda like the meat sacrificed to animals that was fine and dandy to eat, but some believed it to be wrong to eat it.

Still, I want to discover truth, and want others to discover that truth, too, so we may all share in the truth. Like Jesus, I want all believers to "be brought to complete unity to let the world know that [God] sent [Jesus]." (John 17:23) But, alas, that won't completely happen on this side of heaven, huh?

So perhaps I should embrace my different-ness, continue my quest for truth, but realize not everyone is at the same place I am. No, that doesn't mean my truth is different than someone else's truth - truth is absolute, and only God's truth is absolutely true. But not everyone is gonna be at the same stage of finding truth about some things. And that's ok (as long as it is not a salvation issue). So perhaps I don't have to be so alone after all. Perhaps I just need to not be eating the meat sacrificed to animals in public right now. Maybe a time will come when I can, but maybe that time isn't now.

Agree to Disagree?

How is it possible for so many people to use the same Bible and come up with so many different beliefs?

There is only one truth - God's truth.  But yet so many wonderful people who truly love God believe different things.  How can this be?  And how can we know who is right?

And usually people don't seem to even care that others have different beliefs.  We can all just agree to disagree, right?.  People don't seem to be so concerned about truth anymore.  Is the fact that it was taught to us in our youth or at our church or at our Bible college enough to hang onto that belief?  Obviously not!  And yet so many people absolutely refuse to even consider that perhaps they were taught wrongly.  

As we mature and mature in our faith, we should be studying what we believe, we should be ensuring that our beliefs are based on the Word of God and not the words of our pastor, preacher, parent, or teacher.

I don't want to agree to disagree.  I want to know the truth.  And then I want to share the truth I find - not my truth, but God's truth.  I wish people would be more open to hear and receive the truth.  Or to study for themselves to find out what the truth is.

The Gospel According to Jesus

I've been reading a book by John MacArthur called The Gospel According to Jesus.  I'm not far into it yet, but have become very intrigued by what churches and "christians" say one must do to be saved, to become a Christian.

MacArthur's book begins, "Listen to the typical gospel presentation nowadays. You'll hear sinners entreated with words like, 'accept Jesus Christ as personal Savior'; 'ask Jesus into your heart'; 'invite Christ into your life'; or 'make a decision for Christ.' You may be so accustomed to hearing those phrases that it will surprise you to learn none of them is based on biblical terminology. They are the products of a diluted gospel. It is not the gospel according to Jesus."

Salvation is such a scary thing to get wrong.  Jesus says many people will cry out, "Lord, Lord," and He'll say, "I never knew you."  How many of those He never knew will be those who were told all they had to do was say a prayer and ask Jesus into their hearts.  How many people have been lead into a false sense of security with instruction to accept Jesus as your personal Savior.

Paul warns the Galatians about turning from a different gospel "which is really no gospel at all."  He further asserts that "some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!"

The church needs to get back to preaching the gospel, not a watered down version made easy to bring more people into the church.  This is a matter of eternal importance.

Conditional Forgiveness

Is God's forgiveness really conditional?

(an aside - this is so refreshing!!  Unconditional love has become such a rare thing in this world.  Ideally spouses will have unconditional love for each other, but too often that doesn't happen. Friends should unconditionally love each other and be there for each other during the dark times - again, real life doesn't seem to work that way anymore.  I'm so thankful God will always, unconditionally love me, even when I'm stupid, even when I'm grumpy, even when I'm old and no longer cute and skinny, even when I make mistakes, even when I'm not fun to be around because I'm depressed, even when I don't get my work or chores done or keep a clean enough house.  God loves me completely and unconditionally.  That doesn't mean He wants me to stay in a state of grumpiness or stupidity or sin or not do what I am supposed to do.  But His love doesn't depend on it like sometimes people's love does.  May I be like that - may I  unconditionally love my family and friends, without regard to their deservingness!)

So, His love is unconditional but His forgiveness is not?  Yep, as scary as that thought is, it is what the Bible teaches: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matt 6:14-15)

Seems pretty clear to me that God's forgiveness is contingent on our forgiving others.  Am I wrong?  Did I misread these verses?  I don't think so, but I am open to correction . . . .as long as it is based on God's Word as the ultimate and only source of complete truth.

Sin separates us from God.  Forgiveness of sin is necessary for a right relationship with God and for salvation.  I sure wanna be sure I have God's forgiveness of my sins!!  And I wanna know if there is something that would hinder receiving that forgiveness. 

But my advice would be to forgive those you hate, have bitterness towards, etc.  If you don't forgive, and if my interpretation here is correct, your very salvation could be at risk.  Yikes, I find that scary!  I've been known to harbor some bitterness in my life.  With this in mind, I don't think I'll be doing that anymore.  

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. " (Mark 11:25)

"Only one petition in the Lord's Prayer has any condition attached to it; it is the petition for forgiveness."

--William Temple

Believe Is a Verb

I find it really interesting how believe and obey are so closely related in the Bible.  I was reading Hebrews 3 today, talking about the people Moses led out of Egypt and how angry God was with those who sinned.   "And to whom was God talking when He promised that they would never enter His rest? He was talking to those who did not obey Him. So we see they were not allowed to enter and have God's rest because they did not believe."  (vs. 18,19)  Obey and believe are synonymous in this passage.  Kinda interesting, huh?

In fact, if you look at the Greek of the word for "did not obey," apitheho, it means, "not to allow one's self to be persuaded, to refuse or withhold belief, to refuse belief and obedience, not to comply with."  It definitely shows just how involved those who did not obey and did not believe were.  It wasn't just a matter of their lack of faith, but a deliberate, stubborn decision to not allow themselves to be persuaded, to refuse or withhold belief even though there was more than enough proof of the truth (remember the Red Sea parting for them?), to not comply with what God was asking of them.  Yep, this was no passive lack of belief, no neutral disobedience. This was a very deliberate decision to not believe, to not obey what they knew to be true, what they had seen to be true, what they have been told was true.

Now I know we don't have things like the Red Sea parting for us, but we do have His Word. Will we believe and obey it?  But how can one believe and obey, without reading and studying what God's Word says?  We can't!  So, what are we gonna do with it?

I sure don't wanna be one of those with whom God was angry because I heard but did not believe or obey!

"Today listen to what He says. 

Do not be stubborn as in the past when you turned again God." 

Psalm 95:7-8 

Only he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes." Dietrich Bonhoeffer . 

A Peg that Doesn't Fit into a Round or Square Hole Anymore.

It is a lonely thing to not quite fit in, especially in church or even with my friends.  
I have become that person, and I don't like it at all.

I've been a believer for nearly 31 years now, so how did I get to this point in the last few months where I no longer feel like I am a part of church?  I know that I am part of THE church, the body of Christ as a true Christian, but I no longer fit into any local church.  I'm an oddity now.  (Those of you reading this who know me personally will suggest that I've always been an oddity!)

Doctrinally speaking, I no longer fit anywhere.  But the thing is, doctrine is important!

If I were to take any single doctrinal point, I could find a church home.  But I apparently have such a strange combination of doctrinal beliefs, which I believe are firmly founded in Scripture, that taken together, fit with no church.

So where does that leave me?

Right now it leaves me going to two churches.  Not quite fitting in at either one. Wishing I could fit in someplace.